Posted 11 months ago

Just a note

I’m alive.
If anyone’s still hanging around I’ll try and update soon for everyone.
Just ah. Back to the pantry. Hooves left to pickle @_@;

Posted 1 year ago

I needed to share this I can’t stop laughing XD

Posted 1 year ago

Reblog this if you AREN’T homophobic.



Just want to see how many of my followers actually reblog this.









people are fine by me.

everyone should reblog this

for the gifs XD

this is so….. .__.’ *reblogs*


via laugh-addict

I’m lesbian

if you don’t reblog this unfollow me NOW

(Source: mikasserman)

Posted 1 year ago
Why does the pony need to be alive?Freshness? Giving that i usually eat the whole thing alive but still...
sparky-and-sparkle asked

Pretty spot on. Plus, you’ll get more blood flow as well as the sort of tenderness that comes along with having the pony engulfed with fear or panic. Or pain, it still adds a delicate flavour n_n

Posted 1 year ago
What filly might you recommend be served for a Nightmare Night feast, and best preparation methods? I must admit to finding a 'whole presentation' rather intriguing, but after all, you are the one with experience here. Cheers!
innsmouthharborseafoodcompany-d asked

It depends on how big you’re planning the bash!

I’d certainly advise one of the Apple family members. A sweet apple & pastry diet and plenty of muscle on the bones. Not only that but they’re not exactly in short supply! I do have my eye on that Applebloom, but the delicious ones always have obstacles in the way.

I have found that, unsurprisingly, everything tastes better if the pony was still alive and kicking when you remove the ingredients.
Note that the following is written for an adult pony, so you may require several foals if you’re planning on using young meat.

Pony Strips:
Remove flesh from the pony’s limbs, preferably the back legs. Try to make sure they are either large or long, or both. Remove the skin if you can and put it aside. Cut the meat into strips and bread them. You can add orange or black food dye to your breadcrumb mix to feel more in spirit.
When you’re done with that, pop them in the oven along with the skin. Easy snacks, and you can use the cooked crackling as a garnish for things later on.

I also know a lovely recipe that goes great with the strips!
Remove the pony’s eyeballs. Don’t simply stab them out – if possibly use a large tweezer to reach around the eye and grab the large vein that connects it to everything else. If you can keep the pony’s head still enough, ease it out. Or rip it, whatever gets it out (although slowly is far more fun). Do this for both, then strip the ooze that comes from the large vein. You can spoon out more from the eye socket, although the pony will flail, and you’ll most likely just stab them inside the socket.
Make an incision on the pony’s side and take out a fraction of the liver. Make another and take some of the kidney.
Place these along with the eyes in a blender with paprika, red chillis and black pepper.

Remove whatever meat you can from the pony without killing it and put it aside. Once you’re done with that, find either a large pot or one with an opening it’s head can fit through. If possible, restrain the head to the bottom of the pot (My pots are specially ordered, so I know it can be hard to find something with pre-prepared restraint anchors).

If you find a pot the head can fit into and be sealed (without causing asphyxiation), pour boiling water in over the pony’s face until it comes up to the snout. Leave it to boil over fire until the pony has given up the ghost. I like this method best sine it will cook the eye sockets as well as the nasal passages by steaming.

If this pot isn’t an option, simply hold the pony’s head down in boiling water until it drowns. Let it continue to shimmer until skin and meat has been cooked enough to be removed easily. For the other method, do the same only as it steams.
Withdraw the pony and carve open the top of it’s skull. Remove the brains (what’s left, anyway). Cut in half and save one side for later. Place the other with your dip mix so far. Grab roughly 1/4 cup of the water the pony was either steamed above or cooked in. Add it as well, then puree.
Polish off the skull and move the dip into the empty skull cavity.

When the dip’s finished later that night you can add a candle into the empty skull and put it outside for a decoration. Yay bonus keepsakes!

Cavity Filler:
Remove the remaining organs (and the half of that liver and kidney) and the leftover brain. Pick and choose what you’d like and grind them into a fine mince. Toss in whatever spices or poison of your pickings and basically mold them as you would hamburger meat (Hm, I suppose that’s all it really is!). Or sausages. If you can get your hooves on it, marinate them in BBQ dressing before cooking them. Roast whatever you have left over and if optimal, marinate or garnish them in another dressing that compliments the BBQ flavouring.
You should be down to the bones and some remaining meat. Remove the meat from the skeletal frame and cook the chest cavity over charcoal until it has become somewhat brittle.
Remove cavity to serving area, line with baking paper or foil or something to avoid making a mess before moving the cooked meats to the inside of the cavity.
The bones should be able to (with some force) break and be ground down naturally for either seasoning or as a sort of tooth pick.

Sweet Stewed Fritters:
Take the remaining meat you have left and cut it into smaller pieces. Place meats in a pot of stewing fruit, preferably apples and sweet berries. Add a cup of either Apple or Pear Cider and a teaspoon of cinnamon. A small dash of vanilla is optional.
Allow to shimmer until the meat is just cooked slightly on the inside before removing. It should take about 20 minutes, but time will vary depending on chunk sizes. The main goal here is to make sure the pony meat has absorbed some the flavour of the stew. If you’re happy with it so far, batter the pieces and deep fry them. Serve them with ice-cream. If you want a savoury taste you can sprinkle on any of the crackling you may still have remaining.

You should have some miscellaneous bones and such left over. You can recycle these for an added gelatin treat. If you have a strong cooker, you should melt down the bones and the hooves. If you have them spare, also add in any or teeth, or the very rare horn. Add whatever flavouring takes your fancy and allow it to set. Some magic may be required for it to be done on time if prepared on the day of Nightmare Night.

That’s the best I can offer, I’ll be hoping for an invite!

(OOC: I had to do some serious thinking for this one, I’m sorry it’s so long. Uh, I should author a Tumblr book: How to prepare My Little Pony)

Posted 1 year ago

House Recipe #1 Steam Foal

One of my regulars, Tome, has been having trouble with some of the foals in his charge. It’s been doing a bit to his mental stability, so I asked him to bring in the one that was doing all the harm.
My favourite steaming pot is shaped like an iron bull. I call it the Steamer Bull. It’s quite large.

Now, I cut off the filly’s forearms since they got in the way. Sliced down her chest and splayed the skin open, put a harness on her and hooked her to the top of the pot.

This recipe goes similar to how I’d cook Lamb Shanks. When the little one’s skin and flesh are cooked enough it’ll tear at the hooks, and she should simply slip out of the harness with the extra weight.

As planned, by the end of it she’d dropped into the seasoning sauce (similar to the one we use for House Grande). Her meat came right off the bone and the innards added extra flavour and texture to the broth. Given how smooth removing everything went, I didn’t even need to remove the skeletal frame during final preparation.

She screamed a lot until her brain got steamed. I even took my headphones off so I could listen while I prepared some other meals. It did take quite awhile, however, and I wasn’t able to show off the meal to Tome until several hours later.

Either way, the stallion gave me a smile and enjoyed his dinner!

Thanks for coming by so often Tome!
Posted 1 year ago

Be careful when you drink in my cafe :)

*returns to break*

Posted 1 year ago
*pales a little* uh...g-green tea with sugar is fine...
cloud-maker-the-blank-flank-dea asked

Enjoy your tea n_n Sorry for the wait!
Posted 1 year ago
um..d-do you have any tea?
cloud-maker-the-blank-flank-dea asked

We more specialize in coffee but ah… *dives around pantry* We can serve white, black and green tea. Our Cashier could offer you a wider range but she’s on her tea break, ironically 8D;

If you’re interested, you’re welcome to add milk, sugar, cream, blood or bile free of charge n_n

Posted 1 year ago
*walks in, nervous* h-hello?
cloud-maker-the-blank-flank-dea asked

*pops up from kitchen* aaand my Cashier is on break again, jeez. *clears throat* Hello Ma’am c: Welcome to the cafe! You’re new to the area, right? what can we get you sweetie :D?